搞笑的英语名人名言

1、师太，你等着，老衲去让佛祖赐婚！

Shi Tai, you wait, Lao Guo goes to let Buddha marry you!

2、放自己的屁，让别人闻去吧！

Put your own fart, let others smell it!

3、现在找对象一定要看仔细一些，因为现在不男不女的人太多了！

Look carefully now when looking for someone, because there are too many men and women nowadays!

4、我只流过一次鼻血，还是误把卫生巾当口罩了！

I've only had nosebleeds once, or I mistook the sanitary napkin for a mask!

5、此地禁止大小便，违者没收工具。

It is forbidden to urinate or defecate here. Violators confiscate tools.

6、有钱的时候喷香水，没钱的时候抹花露水。

When you have money, spray perfume when you have no money.

7、算完工资的涨幅后再算算猪肉的，就会发现自己连猪都不如！

After calculating the increase of wages, the pork will be counted as well.

8、睡觉睡到自然醒，可是我身上只有五块钱可以数。

Sleep and wake up naturally, but I only have five yuan to count.

9、大学是女生乳房发育的最佳时期。

College is the best time for female breast development.

10、当我看见美女的时候，首先摸摸兜里，看看有没有钱！

When I see a beautiful woman, first I feel in my pocket to see if I have any money.

11、上街就撒别人一身油，对他说：别担心，有奥妙全自动！

When they go to the street, they sprinkle other people's oil and say to him, Don't worry, there's a mysterious automatic system!

12、最近心情不是很好，打算明天去天堂散散心。

I'm not in a good mood recently. I plan to go to Heaven tomorrow to relax.

13、我这人一般上楼从不会走，因为有电梯。

I usually never walk upstairs because of the elevator.

14、男人希望锁住女人钱包的拉链，女人希望锁住男人裤子上的拉链。

Men want to lock the zipper of a woman's purse, and women want to lock the zipper of a man's trousers.

15、青春就像卫生纸。看着挺多的，用着用着就不够了。

Youth is like toilet paper. Look at a lot, use is not enough.

16、当裤子失去皮带，才懂得什麽叫做依赖。

When trousers lose their belts, they know what dependence is.

17、为了建立和谐社会，老婆，我们再来一次吧。

In order to build a harmonious society, wife, let's do it again.

18、牛逼总是比衣服还潮流，旧款还没过时呢，新款就出来了。

Niubi is always more fashionable than clothes. The old style is out of date, and the new one es out.

19、日出只要在日落前出现就好，上课只要在下课前到达就好。

Sunrise is good as long as it appears before sunset, and class is good as long as it arrives before the end of class.

20、管不住的是儿子，看不住的是女儿。

It's the son who can't control it, and the daughter who can't see it.

21、如果照镜子要上税，恐怕有些女人会破产。

If you look in the mirror and pay taxes, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.

22、有人说生了孩子就不会痛经了，那就生一个吧！

Some people say that if you have a baby, you won't have dysmenorrhea, so give birth to one.

23、我太纯洁了，我纯洁的都有些无耻了！

I'm so pure, I'm a little shameless!

24、我正被川大强奸着，现在我唯一能做的就是最大限度地把姿势摆对！

I'm being raped by Chuan Da. Now the only thing I can do is to put my posture in the right position as far as possible.

25、小时候你娘就给你挂了块骨头，至少还有条狗跟你玩！

When you were young, your mother hung a bone for you. At least a dog played with you!

26、唐僧肉吃了能长生不老，唐僧屎不知道有没有同样的功效？

Tang monk meat can live forever, Tang monk excrement do not know whether there is the same effect?

27、我来到这世界上，就从没打算活着回去过。

When I came to the world, I never intended to go back alive.

28、烧香的不一定是和尚，还可能是熊猫！

Burning incense is not necessarily a monk, but also a panda!

29、有奶不一定是娘，但有钱一定是爷！

Milk is not necessarily a mother, but money must be a father!

30、人生就是从小白兔到大灰狼，再到老狐狸的过程。

Life is a process from a little white rabbit to a big gray wolf to an old fox.